Reluctant Housewife: Love in the time of Corona
He was finally ready to date again after a two year hiatus and then the Corona virus happened. "Timing"
So, we're all self quarantined, Netflix and chillin' with our cats and making banana bread. I mean you are too, right? On top of that perhaps some dates you had made now suddenly have to be canceled because one: you can't pass germs and two: bars and restaurants are closed making the whole dating thing reaaaally complicated.
But, what if this was a really interesting pause in getting to know someone the old fashioned way? Like, by talking to them... on the phone.
Our grandparents-- hell, our parents for that matter-- knew that in order to date they had to actually talk and get to know the other person and they did this nifty thing on the telephone. I use the full word of telephone to imply the actual voice/talking use of it.
Yes, people talked on the telephone and asked questions about each other. They heard each others voices, felt real life pauses. Not just three dots blinking. They heard sighs and stutters, actual human inflection that's so sorely been lost.
I for one love talking on the phone still. I picked it up early in my life, let it creep into high school and when texting picked up kept it going. Marilyn Monroe was a notorious introvert and loved to talk to people from her home well into the night. I'd like to think she and I would've had some epic conversations.
When a new friend of mine gets an actual phone call from me they should know they've made the cut. I'll text other people, but voice calls are for real friends. And, that definitely applies to boyfriends.
I want to sit there twirling my hair talking on the phone for an hour (if it's worth it) about life and culture and philosophy. Tell me about your past and your dreams and how messed up your parents are. I want to know. Of course, the other person needs to know the art of conversation as well and ask follow up questions including the question they were asked. This brilliant little ping pong of conversation is something so adorable and fun it's amazing that we somehow moved away from it.
Now that we're so removed from each other with social distancing it's the perfect time to get to know the person you've recently met or are beginning to casually date and I'll tell you why-- people who communicate build better connections. Yup. You ask the right questions and you'll get your answers because people tell the truth to people they don't know well yet.
Listen to their answers, pay attention when red flags come up. Date smart. It's easier to have a phone conversation with someone first rather than waste your time getting dressed up, driving somewhere and enduring what may or may not be a fun time. This helps build a real connection. It gets the stuff you need to know answered so you don't end up wasting time because you had a spark with them in the beginning but you found out they're really the absolute opposite from you later.
Being at a distance can greatly help you build a real connection based on mutual compatibility and common traits. If you do your homework you could brew a great relationship before you even meet. By the time you meet there will be such a build up you can finally see if that lovely thing called chemistry is there with compatibility, which really is the cherry on the Sunday here.
So, use your social distancing time wisely. Talk to some people. Make some real connections. We will hopefully never fall into a time like this where everyone has insane amounts of free time again so make the most of it.
Here's to love!
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